Breyten Breytenbach – vertaling in Engels

Breyten Breytenbach – Vertaal deur Ampie Coetzee

.

New York, 12 September 2001

 Then it went dark.  Real dark. Like snow’ – words of a survivor

 

will the hand keep writing

will any poem have enough weight

to leave a strip of flight across the deserted landscape

ever have enough face against death’s dark silence

who will then tell

 

this large antheap of people are skinned today

sombre and abused, clear and foggy

as if the sordid brown of spluttering towers

still sweeps the skyline away like a dirty flag

 

images keep lamenting for expression beyond the eye

airplanes are bombs filled with scrapnel of soft bodies

then the inferno of flaming flowers from skyscrapers

human flares like crashing angels from the highest storey

down, down, beside glimmering buildings of glass and steel

weightless and slim and streamline – winged

a shooting star mirrored in the fleetin bg language of forget  –

the hellhound of destruction has a red, laughing tongue

 

who will tell who can tell

the eye does not understand the sky is blue

through the sad and chilly winter of the atom

people stumble people slide people crawl people-people

where are the faces laying

 

old for their years or conjugal togetherness

from skull to toes grey of ash

 

under rubbish and debris rosy bodies mumble and move

and in the East River confidential files are drifting

and tatters and feathers torn human flesh

scorched confetti of the dog’s feast

 

where are the faces

will the tongue still think tomorrow tomorrow

can still pulse in the dark lair

with the flaming memory of joy

will any poem someday somewhere have enough weight

to leave a handwriting that speaks of fall and forget

will death keep quivering in the paper

 

[die windvanger. Breyten Breytenbach. Human & Rousseau. 2007 p. 56-57]

 

Translated by Ampie Coetzee

 

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Een Kommentaar op “Breyten Breytenbach – vertaling in Engels”

  1. Helize van Vuuren :

    Beste Ampie, Formidabel dat jy so vertaal. Net ‘n paar suggesties en om jou bewus te maak van ‘n weggelate reël. (As ek dit liewer direk na jou, privaat moet doen, laat weet asseblief, en laat hierdie kommentaar dan blitsig verwyder – weet nie mooi wat die protokol hierby is nie: plaas jy die vertalings hier vir insette, of nie? ek hoop van wel, en jy hoef jou kennelik nie ‘n tiekie aan my te steur nie. dit spreek vanself.)

    My paar pennies in jou vertaalhoed (ek het nie die krag soos De Waal Venter om volsinne van elke ding te maak nie – vandaar net die parentese agter relevante woorde of reëls. Wat wel duidelik word, is dat vertaling wel deeglik ook interpretasie is…en hier en daar lyk myne dus drasties anders as joue)

    Hier’s die 3de, 5de en 6de strofes-met-alternatiewe-en-foutjies (dis nie duidelik of die laaste reëls onder op bl.56 en dié bo op bl. 57 een strofe of twee is nie – dit lyk my meer na een: dus ‘n gedig met vyf strofes – maar jy kan mos nou sommer maklik by die digter self uitvind):

    3.
    images keep lamenting for expression beyond the eye (Afr: “beelde bly kerm om uiting agter die oog” – “images keep crying to escape from behind the eyes”)
    are bombs filled with scrapnel of soft bodies
    then the inferno of flaming flowers from skyscrapers
    human flares like crashing angels from the highest storey
    down, down, beside glimmering buildings of glass and steel
    weightless and slim and streamline – winged (Afr: “vuurvlerk vaartbelyn” – fire-winged streamlined
    *****a shooting star mirrored in the fleetin bg language of forget (Afr: “verskietend weerspieël in die vlugtige taal van vergeet” – “shootingly mirrored in the effervescent language of forgetfulness”
    the hellhound of destruction has a red, laughing tongue

    4.
    . *****who will tell who can tell (Afr: “wie sal vertel en wie sal kan tel” – who will narrate and who will be able to count”
    the eye does not understand the sky is blue
    through the sad and chilly winter of the atom
    people stumble people slide people crawl people-people
    where are the faces laying (HvV: “waar lê die gesigte” – “lying)
    old before their years or conjugal togetherness
    from skull to toes grey of ash
    *************(Afr: ‘n reël hier uitgelaat – “asof geklee en gelys in die jas van eeue se sneeuende kennis” – “as if clad and framed in the coat of centuries’ old snow knowledge”

    (…)

    6.
    where are the faces
    will the tongue still (HvV: be able to) think tomorrow tomorrow
    can still pulse in the dark lair (HvV: “in die donker hool nog kan klop” – still be able to pulse”)
    with the flaming memory of joy
    ******will any poem someday somewhere have enough weight (Afr:”sal enige gedig eendag iewers ooit genoeg gewig mag hê” – “could any poem later somewhere ever carry enough weight”)
    ***to leave a handwriting that speaks of fall and forget (Afr: “om ‘n handskrif te laat wat praat van val en vergeet” – “to leave a script which speaks of falling and forgetfulness:)
    will death keep quivering in the paper (Afr: “sal die dood aanhou ritsel in die papier” = will death keep rustling in the paper”)